Politics : Lies, damned lies, and statistics

0

Image

Ramlal’s NANAJEE (maternal grandfather) had this unique manner of explaining tough concepts. For some his satire was simple outstanding. He once told Ramlal that for majority of people principles are like gold jewellery. Just like gold jewellery is for weddings, festivities and special occasion one should talk about principles occasionally, say couple of times a year. For rest of the days as jewellery is for lockers; safe and sound, so should be principles. That’s the way of politics. That’s the way to success.

Obviously Ramlal was too young to understand. But now that Ramlal is in his late thirty’s he has some appreciation of the world around him. He now has a fair understanding that we currently have a self-professed progressive government at the center, so committed to BHARAT NIRMAN that it is spending more than 400 crore on advertisement handouts. What for? Just to reiterate its progressiveness.

download (6)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ramal is equally aware of another 500 crore spend by challenger; another self professed ‘development messiah’ who has repeatedly lost his face on account of raping the secular structure of our country; presiding over the mass murder on communal ground. But then as they say, ‘CHODO KAL KI BAATAIN KAL KI BAAT PURANI’ (loosely translated in English as forget the past, that’s gone by)

images (1)

 

 

 

 

 

Anyways as the rumors about on airtime being leased, front page of newspaper being bought, media house’s collaboration with political parties, started making rounds Ramlal, wisely though, decided that he will devote equal amount of time for each party. Hence, impartially he devotes a day to a party, party sponsored advertisements & party sponsored news. He thinks that this is the only way through which he will get a fair understanding of each party’s view & counter-view.

images

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He followed his routine for a while. Here’s what Ramlal now understands about India’s current situation.

What he gets sure about on Mon-Wed & Fri?

Our prime minister is simply the finest example of a man who came to office with an impeccable track record and will now without question leave with his reputation irreparably damaged. His integrity; 2G spectrum scam, the coal block allocation & Antrix-devas deal, all scams that lead directly to his doorstop; is now questionable. His ‘coalition dharma’ remark makes him & his corrupt party  a no-option in the current election

& alternatively

UPA’s BHARAT NIRMAN dream has more-or-less come true. Primarily because of impeccable policy execution & sheer commitment to fulfill all promises that party made in last lok sabha elections.

On Sundays

India’s only hope is group of ‘clean’ candidates. Some of them working professionals, others with exemplary work records (either in corporate or social/public sectors) are preparing for lok sabha elections. This is the middle-class opportunity to seize the day.

It is increasingly getting confusing for Ramlal who just refuses to go with tide and insist on facts. As for facts RAMLAL’s NANAJI (wise old man) has another adage which goes like this, “Lies, damned lies, and statistics”

download

Keyword : Sex : most sought after on the internet

0

Ramlal is inquisitive beyond imagination. As the New Year is crack of dawn away, Ramlal ‘the curious one’ tried to ask the new age god “GOOGLE” yesterday night, “What is it that his brothers and sisters in India searched for the most in the year gone by?”

And as always, “GOOGLE –THE REAL GOD” obliged with more than 10,000 results within 0.4 sec. This is what popped up; It’s “Sunny Leone” and not “PM Modi” that is most sought after on the internet; both literally as well as metaphorically.

IMG-20141220-WA0004

This piece of information did not come as a surprise to Ramlal. I think he always knew that, Modi is a search keyword for “mental jerk off” while Sunny Leone is what you need when it comes to “pocket pool” in those moment of privacy.

What confused Ramlal was the next piece of information. The most sought after keyword on Internet for Indians is “sex”& not “Love”. Please do not misunderstand his confusion. He is not confused how Sex can be more searched than Love. Ramlal is wondering that what the difference between the two is? Considering that majority of Indians use these two as synonyms I think Ramlal’s confusion has merit.IMG-20141220-WA0003

So he then tried multiple search strings to find out the difference. One result differentiated the two as, “While love is a feeling, sex is an act”. The other set them apart as “there is no exact “right” definition of Love while all kinds of sex have some things in common and hence easy to define”

Ramlal wants to start his new year with clarity. Do you know what is the difference between Sex & love?